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GRE作文点评开门见山的表达观点

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Issue 1
“We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own。“ disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning。“
Do we learn more from people whose ideas we share in common than from those whose ideas contradict ours? The speaker claims so, for the reason that disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning。 I concede that undue discord can impede learning。 Otherwise, in my view we learn far more from discourse and debate with those whose ideas we oppose than from people whose ideas are in accord with our own。
在第一段,作者开门见山地表达自己的观点——conditionally disagree。这一点值得大家借鉴。但由于写的仓促,依然有措辞的失误。
Admittedly, under some circumstances disagreement with others can be counterproductive to learning。 For supporting examples one need look no further than a television set。 On today‘s typical television or radio talk show, disagreement usually manifests itself in meaningless rhetorical bouts and shouting matches, during which opponents vie to have their own message heard, but have little interest either in finding common ground with or in acknowledging the merits of the opponent‘s viewpoint。 Understandably, neither the combatants nor the viewers learn anything meaningful。 In fact, these battles only serve to reinforce the predispositions and biases of all concerned。 The end result is that learning is impeded。
在这第二段,作者作出某种程度的让步,注意Admittedly,……的用法,既省事有明了,是 gre AWA的典型用法。我们还可以发掘到作者用了比较多essay的常用词组,如,look no further than sth。 Manifest itself, have little interest either in…or in…, find common ground with, in acknowledge sth。, only serve to…这些用词均能让人倍感专业水平。
Disagreement can also inhibit learning when two opponents disagree on fundamental assumptions needed for meaningful discourse and debate。 For example, a student of paleontology learns little about the evolution of an animal species under current study by debating with an individual whose religious belief system precludes the possibility of evolution to begin with。 And, economics and finance students learn little about the dynamics of a laissez-faire system by debating with a socialist whose view is that a centralized power should control all economic activity。
继续举例,让观点丰满起来,这一点值得借鉴。问题是大家要注意他举的例子挺有说服力的。
Aside from the foregoing two provisos, however, I fundamentally disagree with the speaker‘s claim。 Assuming common ground between two rational and reasonable opponents willing to debate on intellectual merits, both opponents stand to gain much from that debate。 Indeed it is primarily through such debate that human knowledge advances, whether at the personal, community, or global level。
从此段开始展开第一段的观点。要学习的是一些句型:Aside from the foregoing two provisos,…however, I fundamentally disagree with…; Indeed it is primarily through…that…。
At the personal level, by listening to their parents‘ rationale for their seemingly oppressive rules and policies teenagers can learn how certain behaviors naturally carry certain undesirable consequences。 At the same time, by listening to their teenagers concerns about autonomy and about peer pressures parents can learn the valuable lesson that effective parenting and control are two different things。 At the community level, through dispassionate dialogue an environmental activist can come to understand the legitimate economic concerns of those whose jobs depend on the continued profitable operation of a factory。 Conversely, the latter might stand to learn much about the potential public health price to be paid by ensuring job growth and a low unemployment rate。 Finally, at the global level, two nations with opposing political or economic interests can reach mutually beneficial agreements by striving to understand the other‘s legitimate concerns for its national security, its political sovereignty, the 3 stability of its economy and currency, and so forth。
此段可谓重点段,所以作者花了重墨称述观点,分别从3个层次论述了disagreement的好处。注意它好就好在能从personal, community, global levels较全面地论述,这是最讨ets欢心的哦!而且他用了比较多的复扎句,也是拿分的重头戏。
In sum, unless two opponents in a debate are each willing to play on the same field and by the same rules, I concede that disagreement can impede learning。 Otherwise, reasoned discourse and debate between people with opposing viewpoints is the very foundation upon which human knowledge advances。 Accordingly, on balance the speaker is fundamentally correct。收尾了!In sum…Unless…, I concede that…Otherwise…upon which…
Accordingly…fundamentally correct。结尾虽仓促,但在如此短的时间内写成这样,算不错啦!起码4。5分


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